Delivering Popovers: A Story of Kindness and Professional Courtesy in Luxury Service

As we approach the tenth anniversary of an unforgettable moment in my personal life, I'd like to reflect on this story that captures the essence of kindness and professional courtesy, which I first shared publicly as part of the closing address at the Domestic Estate Managers Association National Convention in 2015 in Florida. This moment not only touched me personally but also offered a powerful lesson for our luxury service industry, one that encourages us to find ways to uplift and support each other in meaningful ways, so I hope you will find this personal story powerful.

A Family Health Emergency

My story begins on Labor Day weekend a decade ago, when I received a call from my grandmother in San Francisco. With her voice frail but sure, she said, "Honey, I think I am dying." My heart leaped into my throat with worry and dread. I was states away in Chicago when she called me from San Francisco. My grandmother is everything to me: my best friend, my confidant, the person I speak to twice daily. You can imagine the panic and heartbreak I felt at that moment.

I immediately flew from Chicago to be by her side, taking the first emergency flight I could. After assessing her condition, I rushed her to urgent care, as she had refused to go to the hospital without me, even though I begged her to call an ambulance. Through a series of phone calls looking for urgent care with cardiac equipment that could assess her chronic heart condition, we were directed to drive to the Stanford University Medical Center Urgent Care in Palo Alto, California, and the medical team quickly admitted her to the Stanford Medical Center hospital.

Those first 24 hours began what would become 24 grueling days filled with hospital corridors, sleepless nights, and navigating endless medical procedures. Stanford's cardiology team identified her as a candidate for a new mitral valve procedure, and while this was a miracle in itself, it was far from guaranteed at 84 years old. The emotional weight of preparing for the possibility that she might not survive was overwhelming. My days were spent navigating and advocating for her care, and my nights were spent frantically managing personal documents and paperwork to notarize in the event of her passing, as her personal affairs were not in order. The stress was palpable as she dipped in and out of critical condition multiple times before she was cleared for the procedure. Adding to the complexity of the situation was the newness of the procedure, as she was admitted into a beta-test for this treatment, so the number of clinicians tripled in comparison to the usual care team. Needless to say, the hospitalization was not typical, and the weight of it all was on my shoulders.

A Last "Make a Wish" Moment

Amid this chaos, I had one wish: to create a moment of joy for my grandmother, perhaps for the last time. The two of us shared a special tradition, afternoons at the Neiman Marcus tea room, just a block or two away from the hospital in the Stanford Shopping Center, enjoying warm popovers and delicate sips of chicken broth, which they are famous for, served in beautiful demitasse cups and saucers at the start of every meal when guests dine at the Tea Room at Neiman Marcus. I thought, What if I could bring a bit of that magic to her hospital room?

A few days before her procedure, with tears streaming down my face, I called Neiman Marcus and explained the situation. I asked if they could pack the popovers, not in throw-away containers but in their fine china, just as they served them in the tearoom. I promised to handle all the dishes with the utmost care, explaining that enjoying this culinary tradition and our memories in their tea room would not be the same as in to-go boxes. I also explained that I was a hospitality professional and that this ritual was not only a cherished memory but an outstanding service experience that was near and dear to our hearts, so as someone who is in the business, I would take extra special care of the dishes if they would grant me this request. The person on the other end of the phone agreed to pass along the request for me to borrow the dishes along with the popover order, and I gave them my credit card, expecting nothing more than a kind favor if they agreed to my unusual request.

Outstanding Benevolent Service from Neiman Marcus

What happened next was beyond anything I could have imagined. The following day, instead of asking me to pick up the order, I received a call from the store manager, who insisted on personally delivering my request to the hospital. I saw a black Cadillac Escalade waiting when I arrived at the hospital entrance. Three men in suits, the Stanford Palo Alto Neiman Marcus's general manager, the Tea Room manager, and the floor manager, stood in perfect formation, hands clasped as in the dignified stance of butlers. The dignified way they stood at attention to greet me with military-esque stature was tear-jerking and something I will never forget.

With grace and decorum, they presented me with a beautifully wrapped box with all the elements requested, tied with a signature Neiman Marcus red bow. The general manager bowed slightly and said, "For your years of faithful patronage, there will be no charge. These popovers are our gift to you." It was as if they were handing me a memorial flag with deep reverence, a gesture of kindness and respect that I will never forget. With tears streaming down my face at the extremely touching gesture, I took the package and, after thanking them profusely, enjoyed the tradition with my grandmother in her hospital room the night before her procedure. I'm pleased to say the procedure was a success, and thanks be to God and the medical team at Stanford Hospital, she is still with us 10 years later at 94 years old.

Reflections on Professional Courtesy

The moment of kindness and professional courtesy shown to me by the Neiman Marcus team didn't just touch my heart; it reminded me of the power of grace in luxury service. It was a small act of kindness between service professionals, as they honored me for being a fellow luxury service provider, and it resonated deeply because it acknowledged the challenges we all face. In a world where discretion and boundaries in private service often isolate us from one another, this gesture stood as a beacon of compassion in a weary world. In a moment of personal crisis, this kindness was deeply appreciated.

Today, as I reflect on that experience 10 years later, I see parallels to our work in estate management. Our industry, by its nature, can be lonely. We operate behind the scenes, managing the intricate details of our principals' lives while often sacrificing our own well-being. We guard the gates to our principals' private lives, but in doing so, we often build walls that isolate us from the colleagues who understand our challenges best.

Courageous Kindness in Action

The question is: How do we break down these walls? How can we extend professional courtesies to one another in private service, even when discretion limits what we can share? What if we brainstormed new ways of serving each other to serve the principal better? Imagine this conversation:

"Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to bring in a trusted colleague to assist during my vacation. They are trained to the highest standards, vetted by our professional association, and are happy to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I will cross-train them beforehand to ensure seamless service during my absence so you can enjoy uninterrupted care, and I can rest, knowing your needs are met."

Conversations like these, which promote professional courtesy to fellow private service professionals, could revolutionize our field. And this is just one example of changing the norms in our industry. Suggestions like this could create opportunities for collaboration, mentorship, and coverage, giving estate managers the support they need to prevent burnout and achieve proper work-life balance, and thus create a culture of mutual respect and courtesy in our profession where we not only go above and beyond for our principal but we are also permitted to go above and beyond for our fellow service colleagues.

Mentorship programs and internships are another way to foster professional growth. I was fortunate to receive an internship in this industry at the age of 17, which opened the door to this career. But with today's high-security clearances, many aspiring professionals are locked out of on-site training opportunities, which hinders their ability to receive hands-on training, which this field requires. We must find ways to mentor the next generation, offering them guidance and pathways into this field.

The Future of Private Service

Our industry is a delicate ecosystem; if we fail to nurture it, we risk its decline. We need to address the issues of burnout, ballooning job responsibilities, and eroding boundaries collectively, not just by complaining about them on LinkedIn but by actively working toward solutions. This is where professional associations like Private Service Alliance (formerly the Domestic Estate Managers Association) play a vital role. I have been working for this greater good for 15 years through volunteering with both professional associations. I encourage all of you who are in private service to get involved in serving the industry overall. These organizations provide a platform for us to connect, share resources, and advocate for better working conditions, and by doing so, the ability to serve the principal estate owner with grace and dignity.

I encourage all of us to take the time to truly engage with our fellow professionals and look for ways to provide professional courtesy to one another. At your next networking event, look out for the person glued to their phone, stressed and overwhelmed. Offer a listening ear, a helping hand, or even a discreet resource that might ease their burden. Kindness and professional courtesy are not just abstract ideals; they are tangible actions that can transform our industry, and we must collectively look for ways to bring collaboration to the forefront of private service instead of isolation.

Kindness and Professional Courtesy in Luxury Service

The kindness and professional courtesy shown to me by the Neiman Marcus team was not just about popovers; it was about connection, empathy, and shared values. If we can find ways to deliver "popovers" to each other, small acts of kindness wrapped in professionalism and care, we will not only enrich our personal lives but also elevate our industry as a whole.

As estate managers and butlers, it's not just the details of our work that matter; it's how we show up for each other. A perfectly tied bow on a gift may seem trivial, but it symbolizes the heart we put into every interaction. And that, ultimately, is the true essence of luxury: a touch of grace that leaves a lasting impact.

So, the next time you see a colleague in need, offer them a "popover" moment, wrapped, of course, in the perfect bow. Because in this industry, it's all in the details, and the details are where we shine.

Let's make our kindness the legacy we leave behind.

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Jennifer Laurence is the founder and president of Luxury Lifestyle Logistics, a leading estate management consulting firm renowned for elevating service standards in ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) luxury residential estates. With over 25 years of distinguished experience in hospitality and private service, she is a trusted authority in estate operations, specializing in optimizing household workflows, developing bespoke service protocols, and cultivating high-performing teams. Jennifer advises estate owners, family offices, and private service professionals on staff training, leadership development, conflict resolution, and guiding estates and luxury hospitality environments through organizational change and service culture creation. As a Doctoral Candidate in Organizational Leadership, she blends academic research with hands-on estate hospitality expertise, uniquely positioning her to drive operational excellence and foster collaborative, results-oriented estate teams. As Principal Liaison Director for the Private Service Alliance, she actively contributes to industry advocacy, thought leadership, and best practices. Her insight ensures that every facet of estate management—from daily service delivery to long-term operational strategy—meets the highest standards of precision, discretion, and sophistication for the families she serves. 

📍 Website: Luxury Lifestyle Logistics

📍 LinkedIn: Jennifer Laurence