Early in my estate management career, I faced a moment that left an indelible mark on my professional journey and has shaped how I approach relationships between estate owners and their staff. Around 2008, the family I worked for at the time asked me to coordinate their packing and travel arrangements for their upcoming trip—a routine request in my role, but I was fairly new in the position, so their preferences were unknown to me. The Mrs. rattled off a list of verbal instructions, one of which was to pack “their Lululemon’s” like it was a noun I should know something about!
Now, this was before Lululemon became the globally recognized brand it is today. Having never encountered the name before, I awkwardly asked, “I’m sorry, ma’am… the what?” Her reaction was swift and cutting. She made me feel small, unsophisticated, and, frankly, humiliated for not knowing about this then-exclusive athleisure brand. Lululemon didn’t go public till 2007, so I simply had not come across this brand before that time!
That moment stung. Not because I wasn’t willing to learn, but because the lack of grace I received turned what could have been an opportunity for growth into a sharp reminder of the knowledge gaps between those who curate luxury and those who consume it. Fast-forward nearly two decades, and not only am I well-acquainted with Lululemon (I even own a few items from the brand), but I’ve also turned that moment into a foundational lesson in how estate owners and their staff can foster mutual respect and effective collaboration.
A Lesson in Grace and Growth
Luxury, by its very nature, is dynamic. New brands emerge, and trends ebb and flow. Estate workers are tasked with the nearly impossible: keeping up with an ever-evolving market of goods and services that caters to wealth. From Louis Vuitton to Lalique, estate professionals are expected to know a staggering amount about luxury, often without the exposure or resources their employers enjoy.
This is not to argue that estate staff should enter their roles without a working knowledge of prominent luxury brands—on the contrary, foundational training is essential. But expecting them to be walking encyclopedias of every niche brand or exclusive item without any margin for error is both unrealistic and counterproductive. Estate staff are generalists by design; they provide support across an array of categories, from fine wines and cigars to bespoke furnishings and art. Their strength lies in adaptability and resourcefulness, not omniscience.
Why Training and Grace Matter
In the luxury estate industry, knowledge gaps are inevitable. What sets apart exceptional estate teams from the rest is not their ability to know everything, but their ability to learn and execute effectively when they don’t. For estate owners, the key is to approach these moments with grace and understanding:
1. Invest in Training: Equip your team with foundational knowledge of luxury goods, services, and etiquette. Formal training programs, like those offered by butler schools or estate management consultants such as myself, provide a strong starting point.
2. Foster a Culture of Learning: When staff encounter a new luxury item or service, view it as an opportunity to expand their skill set. Offer guidance, share your preferences, and collaborate on solutions as well as your preferences on the subject.
3. Know When to Call an Expert: Estate staff are skilled generalists, but certain situations call for specialized knowledge. For instance, while I know how to care for fine art, I’m not an art restoration expert. Recognizing when to bring in specialists ensures your assets are handled with precision.
4. Extend Grace: Wealth affords you access to countless luxuries that your staff may never have encountered. Instead of reacting with frustration, offer them the same patience and professionalism you would expect in return.
The Estate Experience of Curating the Purchasing Power of Wealth
For over 25 years, I’ve immersed myself in the world of luxury goods and services, continually expanding my knowledge across categories as diverse as fine rugs, rare wines, bespoke tailoring, and more. Yet even now, I encounter items or brands routinely that I’m unfamiliar with. What matters is how we bridge these gaps—with curiosity, collaboration, and a commitment to excellence.
Curating luxury in an estate setting isn’t just about the goods themselves; it’s about the relationship between those who purchase wealth’s luxuries and those tasked with preserving, organizing, and presenting them. Estate staff bring an invaluable resource to the table: their dedication to service. By equipping them with the right training and fostering a culture of respect, estate owners can elevate their homes into seamlessly functioning environments where both parties feel valued.
So, the next time you ask your estate manager to pack your Lululemon’s or coordinate an exclusive purchase, remember: luxury isn’t just in the items themselves—it’s in the way we treat the people who help us enjoy those luxuries life affords us. Because in turn, they will help you feel luxurious in the way you are served. For in the words of my esteemed mentor, Mr. Charles MacPherson “Luxury is a Feeling, it is Not a Price Tag!” If you would like to elevate the level of luxury service standards on your estate, without the staff feeling inferior or unsophisticated, please contact Luxury Lifestyle Logistics to schedule training for your household team for a respectful and professional approach to sophisticated service.
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Jennifer Laurence is the founder and president of Luxury Lifestyle Logistics, a leading estate management consulting firm renowned for elevating service standards in ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW) luxury residential estates. With over 25 years of distinguished experience in hospitality and private service, she is a trusted authority in estate operations, specializing in optimizing household workflows, developing bespoke service protocols, and cultivating high-performing teams. Jennifer advises estate owners, family offices, and private service professionals on staff training, leadership development, conflict resolution, and guiding estates through organizational change and service culture creation. As a Doctoral Candidate in Organizational Leadership, she blends academic research with hands-on estate hospitality expertise, uniquely positioning her to drive operational excellence and foster collaborative, results-oriented estate teams. As Principal Liaison Director for the Private Service Alliance, she actively contributes to industry advocacy, thought leadership, and best practices. Her insight ensures that every facet of estate management—from daily service delivery to long-term operational strategy—meets the highest standards of precision, discretion, and sophistication for the families she serves.
📍 Website: Luxury Lifestyle Logistics
📍 LinkedIn: Jennifer Laurence